I’m reading this great book about friendships and it has me pondering relationships and the fact that American’s are so lonely because social media (among other things) have completely ruined our ability to interact with one another and build solid, close, life-long relationships. People are afraid to try and take a friendship from surface level to something deeper. We’re afraid to get in peoples spaces, take their time, and share our lives, or sometimes, we’re just unwilling. This makes me really sad.
It’s frustrating to me as someone who enjoys getting to know people on a deeper level, who is intentional about connecting with people that my invitations aren’t accepted, that people are too busy with meaningless busyness or so caught up in their current world that they aren’t even interested in expanding. If I had a nickel for every time I thought “If they just knew me, they’d realize how awesome I am and they’d want to hang out all the time”, I would be a millionaire. Now, I understand that not all people will find me so incredibly awesome, and that’s fine, but I would even go so far as to ask why they don’t and try to figure out if there is something I could do to change myself for the better. But, I think most people miss out on great relationships (romantic and non) because they’re unwilling to give someone the time it takes to truly get to know them.
I guess I view relationships as the single best (and more important) part of my human existence. But guess what? Most people do not share that view, so somehow something that should be 50/50 becomes 70/30, or worse 80/20, or maybe even 90/10. Whatever the split, it’s not OK unless it’s hovering somewhere around 50/50. I want to know that whoever I’m investing in is investing in me to the same degree. That my time is respected and treasured. That who I am is someone who is desired.
A lot of the time, it just doesn’t feel that way, and it really, really hurts.