Online Dating Men: TAKE HEED

So, remember my rant on online dating a few weeks ago? Well, somehow instead of giving up online dating, I joined a second site. (Sometimes I can be really stupid) So now, I belong to a free site and one that I have actually paid money to. At the time, my logic seemed sound: “A higher quality man would pay for online dating to weed out the crazies, so I will have a better chance of meeting Mr. Prince Charming.” Seems like sound thinking, right? Well, I’m two months into this new site and still on the old, free site as well, and let me tell you, it’s still crickets. Nothing. Nada. Oh wait, let me take that back, I have had a few messages on the free site from men in countries that I have never even heard of (Winning!!).

At any rate, I thought maybe I should jot down a few (friendly) notes for any single men out there reading this humble blog who are on online dating sites:

1) If your main profile picture is a selfie taken in the bathroom without your shirt, you should just delete your profile now and head on over to Craigslist to the casual encounters page. That seems like it would be more your style.

2) Find the sweet spot of information to convey – example below:
Question: “I’m really good at…” Bad Answer: “Everything”
Question: “What I’m doing with my life” Bad Answer: “I am working full time, taking graduate
certificate classes, decorating my house inside and out, rollerblading, working out, skiing,
paddle boarding, volunteering, mentoring, saving for my next big trip, planning to buy a
sports car, running a start-up flooring business, and working hard and playing hard.”

Just give us enough information to get a sense of who you are and what you’re about.

3) Don’t say to contact you if we’re interested because you’ll “always reply” if you won’t actually fucking reply!

4) Don’t make it sound like this site (whatever site you’re on) is a last resort for you. It’s 2013, this is how dating is most commonly done now…..I think. I don’t have any statistics or anything, but it sounds right. At any rate, if someone’s reading your profile, they’re obviously on the site as well, so there’s no reason to feel ashamed about it. Face it, once you’re out of college, it becomes a lot harder to meet single men/women.

5) When you do decide to message a lady, please say more than “Hi, how are you?”. Put at least ten minutes of thought into it. I don’t care who the lady is, she’s worth at least 10 minutes of your time and energy.

6) SPELL CHECK. I’m sorry, but there is just no damn reason for your profile to have incorrect spelling and bad grammar. Every site gives you the angry red line under misspelled words and an easy way to correct and you should know how to use proper grammar. If I find more than two mistakes in a profile, I immediately toss it. If he can’t pay enough attention to those details, what about the rest of his life?

7) Be careful with your humor usage. I read a profile today filled with sarcasm and jokes and it was fantastic. Then I read a profile that came across as very crude. If that’s what you’re going for, then fine, but if you’re trying to be funny or ironic, maybe run it past a friend first.

8) Try and stay away from cliche comments and self-deprecation. If I read one more profile with a phrase similar to “I don’t really know what to put here but I’ll try my best….” I’m going to punch my computer. OK, not really, but you get my point.

Alright, I think that’s enough pointers for you all right now. Listen, dating can be fun or it can be a nightmare. I like to believe that the men and women on these sites really all want the same things, but I know that isn’t true. Some people are looking for fun and casual, others are looking for serious and long-term. But we’re all hoping for a good experience, so let’s all try our best to do that. 🙂


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