A couple months late, but finally posting: (the next post will explain more)
So, the end of July has arrived. It has truly been one HELL of a month! I think I’ve experienced every human emotion possible and have said on multiple occasions over the past 30 days: “This the best month ever!” and “This is the worst month ever!”. It’s been a lot. I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month is don’t challenge the universe. She don’t play fair.
I’ve had some incredible networking opportunities this month with powerful, successful women that left me energized and full of hope. Women who have taken risks with their careers, who have stayed true to who they are and who are kind, compassionate, and willing to embrace a newbie. While I had networked in Seattle, it never came as easily as it has here in this first year. I look forward to continuing to expand my network here and to see where that leads me in the future.
I had an incredible birthday celebration this year. Everything from HBD wishes from my co-workers, a special lunch, special deliveries from friends, an incredible dinner in an art gallery with friends, and about 4 hours on the phone with my favs in Seattle. The next night was another special dinner with friends, and when I sat to reflect on the difference a year made, it brought me to tears. Below is what I shared on my social media:
What a difference a year makes. Last year, I had just gotten here, had barely unpacked before my birthday was upon me. I remember going to work and no one saying anything because no one knew me. I remember going to a little cocktail bar for a drink & the bartender giving me a shot & taking one with me wherein I told him he was the only person there to celebrate with me since I didn’t know anyone. I remember ordering an entire bottle of wine for myself (because it was half-off so it was fiscally responsible) and eating pasta. I remember reveling in the sheer, startling recognition of what I had just done: picked up my entire life & moved across the country to a place where I knew no one. And I remember wondering what would…could happen. Mostly, I remember feeling loved by everyone I knew thousands of miles away, and I remember having so much hope of what was coming. That was July 19, 2017.
Today, it’s July 19th, 2018 and I don’t even know where to begin. My phone has been filled with messages from my friends back West, but also with so many messages from new friends here. The outpouring of love to me is overwhelming when I think that it has only been one year. 365 days.
As I turn 36 today, I smile. I am truly the happiest I have been in such a long time. This place has impacted me beyond belief. My trust & belief in myself has solidified & yet I’ve also softened. My heart has thawed from the West Coast freeze & I welcome the tender moments I share, sometimes with people, sometimes just with Ginger. I look forward to this next year as I just know it’s going to be a fun ride! I have plans, goals & exciting adventures coming up but aside from that, my heart is just fully open! Life is truly beautiful & I am so thankful that I am here to experience it and THRIVE!
To all my friends who have texted, called, used social media, or sent me things: you all mean the world to me & I am eternally grateful for each one of you.
One weekend, I attended a party on a lake and while it was out of my comfort zone at first, by the end of it, I had warmed up to everyone and had found a group of people who I felt amazingly comfortable with. I also met an artist who I spent a couple hours with, conversing about life and challenging each other’s assumptions. He even challenged my writing, encouraging me to try writing ahead versus always writing as a reflection. It was such a beautiful conversation. I’m so thankful for that night because it was yet another experience like none I had ever encountered before. It was welcoming, raw, fun, deep, authentic and a change of pace.
My friendships were a challenge over the month of July. There have been some big changes announced and shifting dynamics between others that have left me feeling mostly in a state of mourning. Mourning what has been consistent and true over the past decade or so, and what is changing, how we are changing. I know it’s not bad, we’re just all growing and developing and life is continuing to happen, but it’s hard and uncomfortable and it means that I have to reset my mentality of it all. There are others being added into all of our lives, which means that there has to be space for them given. Relationships are really hard. Even harder when you’re 2,000 miles a part. I’m thankful to still have a close group of friends committed to remaining close despite the distance, but it is still very challenging.
Finally, the house-hunt is officially on and I’m slowly learning more and more about what it means to take on the responsibility of a house. It’s a lot and the accountant in me is concerned about the numbers and the single woman in me is concerned about the repairs, but the introvert adult in me is just so terribly excited to have a free-standing place of my own, in an area that feels authentic to my person and an outdoor space for Ginger & I to relax. I’ve also learned that when you open your mouth and tell people you’re thinking of buying your first home, everyone seems to think it gives them free reign to give you whatever advice they believe to be right. And listen, I’m not one to ever turn down advice, in fact I welcome it often, but what I don’t like is when people try to convince me that they know what’s best for me. Especially when they don’t really know me. It seems to people that I’m being stubborn and closed-minded because I’m extremely specific on what I want and where, but there are reasons for each decision, and only I can know that best.
Overall, July was a full month. There were as many ups as downs and a lot of reasons to be grateful so I won’t dwell on the hard parts, but only hope that they add to my character and strength.