Here we are, the end of another quarter, and the end of the year. Q4, you did not disappoint and neither did you give me a lot of rest.
Develop well / peaceful existence:
– Carving out time for writing/reading
- Since moving into my house, I’ve put a lot of thought into how I wanted my office to feel. It was really important to me to have this space be perfect, because it would set the tone for how often I’m inspired to write. I’m happy to report that it really turned out exactly as I wanted it, so I have spent a good amount of time in the office writing and thinking, enjoying wine with a candle, lamp and laptop. I have a whiteboard to jot notes or quotes on and Ginger has a bed right next to my desk so she can be cozy. I just need to get through organizing more and stay on top of keeping that space clean so that can sit down at my desk at any time with no effort.
- Bestie came through again with another amazing book suggestion so I have (slowly) been making my way through Dare to Lead by Brene Brown and it has been incredibly moving and inspiring! In fact, I had originally checked the book out from the library but loved it so much by the first chapter that I bought it from Amazon so that I could mark it up with notes and highlighting.
- I’ve definitely met my target of 12 books this year thanks in part to some light romance novels I’ve been reading during December. It’s been nice to take a break from heavier topics and enjoy just getting lost in a love story.
- I’m removing the term because I said in my last recap that I had canceled my membership. But I do need to find a replacement to treat my body well.
- I joined a gym near my house that is a very reasonable monthly price and offers enough options to me. I’ve had my ups and downs of traditional gym memberships, but I’m hoping to just have a place to move my body with low pressure. In addition, my hope is to retrain my thinking in 2019 that working out is simply something good I do for my body, without any expectations of weight loss or muscle development.
- My relationship with my body is so complicated. I hate all the pressure that is placed on women to look at a certain way, and while I’ve learned to love my curves, what I still hate is the way I feel when I’m not moving my body often. Winter is always a time when I feel sluggish because I’m not getting outside often. This year it’s compounded by the fact that I’m not walking Ginger three times a day as she’s allowed to just go outside when she wants. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror somewhere a couple weeks ago and wanted to die as I just looked…unhealthy. And that is such a shitty feeling. Looking fat is something I’m used to, but looking unhealthy? Not cool. So, I need to take care of myself.
– Meet-up’s / Relationships
- Art shows, art shows, art shows!
- I’ve been spending a significant amount of time with people this quarter which has been really good, but I’ve also spent a significant amount of time alone which has also been really, really good.
- I was invited to another artist studio visit which was incredible and ended up making a new friend there. Due to the holidays, it’s nearly impossible to get time with people, so we’ll be meeting up in the new year.
- Self-care is finally back on the table. I went and got my nails done finally and it’s amazing how such a small thing can make you feel worlds better. Also got a haircut which is amazing because I’ve been on a bit of a hair journey this year and it’s finally at the point I needed it to be at.
- Time alone has become a major component of my self-care routine this year as well. I find myself needing more and more of it, seeking the refuge of my thoughts, simple pleasures and a space that is my own.
Flourish / Calling out what I really want
- No changes, but I feel that it’s going to happen soon. There have been two major life events that I wanted to focus on/happen before I would consider getting into a relationship and those two things were buying a house, and getting a new job. Both of those things have happened now, so I feel like I can put the right energy out into the universe to let her know that I’m ready to meet someone and continuing to put myself into spaces where I will meet new people. It will happen.
- I landed a new gig in the beginning of November, and I could not be more elated to start this new experience! It’s nothing that I expected to move to, but also, it is exactly the right fit for me right now. It is challenging me in the biggest ways and I know that it’s going to instill in me the boost of confidence that I have been missing from the negative experience that I had in my previous job. It’s pushing me hard and I leave every day feeling utterly exhausted, but I know it’s because of a full day of brain activity and to me, that’s worth it.
- I am still volunteering for the museum and while I don’t feel like I’m contributing much, I want to keep pressing on. It’s been so hard to be fully committed in the midst of so much change in my life, but I’m trying to engage as much as possible because it is important to me. I want to be a part of the Detroit art world, and contribute so I have to just continue to make it a priority. We had our big event in December and it went amazingly! I can’t wait for the next one.
- I am talking more with a gallery owner about learning here and there from her, the ins-and-outs of working in the art world. It’s super exciting and really informal, but I feel incredibly lucky to have met her. She’s been so encouraging and inspirational. I look forward to developing more of that friendship over the next year.
- I went to Berlin in October and it couldn’t have come at a better time! It was really an incredible experience that requires it’s full own post (and hopefully I will get to that). Suffice it to say that it was everything and nothing that I was expecting it to be. I am so grateful for the experience, the experience to be away from the chaos that my life was in, for the experience of seeing art that I had only dreamed of, for traveling with new friends, for learning more about myself, and for ultimately taking risks!
- I traveled back to Seattle in November to visit the bestie who is expecting her first baby to help get the nursery set up and just to spend some good time together. It worked out that I was able to see a handful of friends while I was there as well which was everything my soul needed. Seattle feels less and less like home, but always a place that I’m happy to come back to for the sheer amount of love that resides in that city for me. Preparing for the baby was strange, not that I’m not happy for her and not that I’m not super excited to be an Aunty again, but it’s just…weird. My friends are moving into a different space in life that I have no space in. Is it possible to be excited and sad at the same? Change can be so hard sometimes.
- While I didn’t travel much, I had several people travel TO me, and that was such a special experience! My Seattle mom stopped over on her way to Florida for a couple of days, and it was so special to show her my new world and my new house. She has seen me grow so much over the past 15 years, so it meant a lot to share with her. I can’t wait for her to come back. My friend and former co-worker came out for a visit as well and we had a lot of fun, exploring the city, eating really amazing food and seeing a Red Wings game. While I’m not really a major sports nut, I do enjoy live games, and now I’ve seen 3 of the 4 major teams. I just need to make it to a Piston’s game and I’ll be set. My mom was able to come down for a few days over Christmas as well and that was really nice since I haven’t spent holidays with my family in years. My soul sister came in for NYE and we spent the weekend catching up, and doing some soul collaging/vision boarding and lots and lots of talking. Needless to say, my guest room is getting some great use!
- Nothing too exciting to report – just steadily moving along.
- I did lose track of budgeting and keeping a close look at my finances for the past several months, so I’ve already reset my spreadsheet for 2019 and will plan on keeping better tabs on it all.
- The house is great and has proven to be a solid investment as we’ve had a ton of rain in the fall and even snow in November and I’ve seen no leaks (knock on wood) or any major issues yet. I’m still loving all the space and enjoying taking the time to make it mine.
- I’ve now had my first three house-guests with my spare bedroom all set up and it was truly wonderful to be able to host someone in an actual bedroom, with a full bed and all the fun hosting amenities.
I am so proud of myself this year. I feel like I did more in 2018 that I had done in 5 years in Seattle. I seriously don’t even know what to expect from 2019!
– Bought a car
– Bought a house
– Changed jobs
– Traveled to a new Country
– Made new friends
– Pushed deeper into my existing friendships
I’m ready to say goodbye to this year, but it’s with a grateful heart. I don’t feel bitter or beat down. I don’t feel depleted of all my energy or clawing for a new start. I just feel ready. Ready to take the next step.
This post is also bittersweet because it will be the last recap that I post. You’ll know why with my 2019 post. It’s been a journey necessary over the past three years, and it has kept me focused and on task, but things have changed and I’m embracing a new way.
So long 2018. Thank you for being an incredible year, for teaching me so much, for guiding me when I was lost, for always coming through when I was at the end of my rope. I exit with gratitude and joy.