Sometimes I just take to writing…

Today is the first day full day I’ve spent outside at my house. I’ve moved the card table aka my dining table outside with a chair, brought my laptop, snacks and beverages (alcoholic of course), and my main girl. It’s 67 degrees and sunny. It’s obviously bbq-ing season and it was driving me bananas that I didn’t have a bbq. So I went and bought one today.

I had plans tonight for an exhibit opening but I can’t bring myself to go. I’d rather stay here with my girl, in this perfect weather and just….relax.

It’s days like today though that I miss my friends back in Seattle so much. I miss the ease of inviting them over and knowing that at least one or two of them would be able to come. I miss knowing that if I had to pull rank, that my BFF would drop everything and show up if I needed her. It’s not as easy when you’re 2,300 miles away. It’s in the absence of those core people that I wish I had a boyfriend, someone who’s job joy it is to be with me. My life here is so, so good. I just…I just wish I had someone here who was mine. Who would be here no matter what. Who would know when I said “oh I’m fine” that I’m really not and would show up with wine, Kleenex and lots of affection. It’s truly the one thing missing. I know I’m not, but I feel so alone in all of this sadness. I’m trying to make the best of it. I’m trying to reach out to my friends here, but they all have other lives, full lives.

This post is really turning into a downer.

Tonight, I’m just going to grill some hot dogs, drink some wine, listen to the blues and watch Ginger judge my drunkeness. That sounds like a pretty normal Saturday night for us.

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